The Undercrypt of Fell Malice

[Rebonack]

Ages ago, the evil sorcerer Malicoran summoned forth a slave army of djinn to build for him a hidden citadel deep in the accursed forests of Ooop. At the heart of this citadel he forged a terrible weapon, a weapon with but one purpose.

To blind the eyes of the gods who had spurned him and his power.

But before he could complete his work, the gods sent of flood pouring into the citadel, drowning the sorcerer and leaving the final step of his work undone.

Now the undercrypt remains, forgotten, until now...

Says a parrot sitting on a treebranch upon which Jace is draped over, having suddenly appeared in a flash of white light.

In spite of the colorful tropical bird, he finds himself in an oak woodland that is pretty clearly tended to, judging from the relative lack of underbrush. Several deer munching on acorns perk up at his appearance, watching him warily. None too far away rises a large mound covered in sod with a ruined stone structure atop it that's choked in ivy. That probably isn't what he's interested in, though.

What he's interested in is the large doorway built of sandy brown stone in the shape of a great leering monstrous face, its open maw the door.

The face looks kind of like a dog.

But not really.

The portal stands open, though if he were to look close Jace would find the corroded remains of copper hinges that once held the dusty remains of a oak door that has long since been devoured by beetles. Of course, he would have to get out of the tree to actually do that.

The parrot side-steps closer to him and begins beaking at his hair.

[Keeper]

Jace smiles at the parrot and gives it a scratch on the back of the head.
"Thank you, Exposition Bird."

After taking a moment to hop down from the tree (his ankles can't handle that quite as well as they used to) Jace takes a moment to check his gear. If Fortuna didn't outfit-swap him he's basically just wearing casual clothes and the hat and whip she gave him before. Not ideal but Jace is a caster it's fine.

For now there's only one way forward, so through the door it is.

[Rebonack]

The Exposition Bird does not reply. He has done his sworn duty already.

And sure enough, the only equipment Jace has is what was on his person plus the whip and hat.

Definitely not ideal.

So!

Jace steps through the mouth of the dungeon he'll find himself in a long wallway lined with pillars, each taking the form of a squat, hideous figure facing toward the center of the hallway. Each of the figures a grotesque impish thing completely different from all the others, each displaying various exaggerated and monstrous faces.

And every single one of them has their eyes closed, grimacing in pain.

Except for the VERY LAST statue. It's eyes are open, its tongue sticking out mockingly, and one hand held in front of its nose with fingers pointing up so as to protect it's vulnerable eyes from poking fingers.

[Keeper]

Jace doesn't have any idea how you use a whip but it'll probably be useful as a rope-like object.

And these sure are some suspicious statues in the hallway. Especially with no actual doors in the hallway. Jace steps forward and knocks on the pillar that suspiciously has a hand up. And barring that, poke it in its stony eyes.

[Rebonack]

It turns out that knocking on the pillar doesn't actually do anything.

But poking it right in the eyes?

That definitely does something! It makes a distinctive 'oi, a wiseguy, eh?' sound as its eye close and the wall behind it slides down into the floor, revealing a chamber beyond! The room looks like it was an entry way of sorts, with imposing statues of the the sorcerer (probably) at each corner. The southern and western walls of the chamber are filled with alcoves, each holding the skull of a djiin with a spidery sigil carved into its forehead. A door on the north of the room is framed with a leering, monstrous face with intimidating looking stone teeth at the foot and head of the door. A second door to the east is lashed shut with heavy chains attached to a large, square metal plate with a cartoonishly large keyhole in the center.

In the center of the room stands a large basin filled with ashes and a flickering orange flame that produces no smoke.

[Keeper]

Well, there are two things to test here.

The first is if Jace can cheat the obvious answer of go through the crypt to find the key by going up to the chains and igniting a flame from his finger and seeing if he can cut through it.

The SECOND thing to test is if those sigils have the feeling of magic on them. If there's some sort of enchantment or binding on the skulls they might need to be part of a puzzle, like being fed to the flames. Otherwise he won't touch them as he doesn't desecrate the dead for no reason.

[Rebonack]

Unless the flames from Jace's fingers are EXTREMELY HOT as in cutting torch sort of hot then there's a good chance that trying to burn through the chains isn't going to work. ARE Jace's finger flames that hot? Because that seems like a good way to cause eye damage or set yourself on fire because WOW cutting torches are really bright and hot.

Maybe he should just try to find a flaming lockpick instead?

Testing the skulls for magic does in fact yield results! Each of the skulls has a strong aura of necromancy.

This is, in fact, probably a bad thing.

Usually skulls with strong auras of necromancy mean undead. Or curses. Or undead curses.

Either way, bad mojo.

[Keeper]

Well, for once Jace is alone where NO ONE can tell him that his extreme distaste for necromancy is "irrational" or "leading him to book-burning tendencies."
The latter is true since it did make him want to burn a book once. But it was a necromancy tome so he's still pretty sure it wasn't the wrong thing to do.

In the meantime, Jace reaches out with a basic mage-hand spell and picks up one of the skulls, moving to deposit it in the fiery basin. Something has clearly been burned in there before and it's also the only other thing in this room.

[Rebonack]

Jace burns a skull with a bloody red sigil on its skull.

Normally tossing a skull into a fire wouldn't do that much. Bones don't really burn as such. They get brittle and crumbly. But instead this thing goes up as if it were a handful of flour tossed into a fire.

FWOOSH!

Then the flames snuff, briefly plunging the room into darkness.

A moment later they come back on and OH HECK THERE'S A GHOST OR SOMETHING!

It points at the wall nearby, slowly fading away again. Should Jace check he'll find that someone looks to have carved into the stone with a knife '9, 7, 7, 4, 4'.

Mysterious!

Less mysterious is the monstrous burning skeleton that just climbed out of the basin, pulled out one of its own burning ribs, and lunged at Jace with it.

[Keeper]

Hm. That's definitely a code. For what, he does not know. There doesn't appear to be any combination locks in this room. Probably for later?

Right now Jace has a skeleton to blast, apparently. Which he does! After ducking a flying flaming rib.
Focusing his magic into his hand which he holds low, frost forms along the ground. Jace's eyes flare blue as he brings his hand up, sending a blast of extreme chill at the skeleton. Fire certainly wasn't going to work.

[Rebonack]

Given that Jace is an expert on invocations he probably knows what happens when something that's REALLY HOT all of a sudden gets REALLY COLD.

Especially if it's something even a little bit ridged.

Like bone.

The skeleton shatters.

Wrecked.

Hmm...

That doesn't cause any other changes in the room, though. The locked door is still locked and the scary mouth door still looks like a scary mouth. Something is clearly being overlooked. Maybe-

Should Jace inspect the monster skulls a little more closely he'll notice that the sigils have to components. Little wedge-shaped marks and swoopy lines. The one he's looking at right now has FOUR wedges and FOUR swoopy marks.

[Keeper]

Jace checks the number of alcoves. If there's five, then he probably just needs to arrange them in the 97744 pattern. If there's more than five he probably needs to find the appropriate numbered skulls and dump them into the basin in that order.

Simple enough, for now.

[Rebonack]

Turns out it's the latter.

Dumping the skulls into the flames in the correct order causes the intimidating looking teeth on the northern door to retract. Which probably means the door is safe to open now?

Maaaaaybe?

It also causes a small flame to ignite in the outstretched hands of each of the sorcerer statues at the corners of the room. And for a little chime to play from somewhere? That last bit definitely isn't important in any way.

[Keeper]

Surely it just means the room is clear and Jace can proceed as normal.
Jace spends a minute to properly tie the whip to one of his belt loops so he doesn't have to carry the mostly-useless thing this whole time and goes to open the previously-locked tooth-door. It's probably safe to proceed now.

[Rebonack]

The whip isn't useless!

It can be used for all sorts of death-defying antics!

Like whipping swords out of people's hands. Or wrapping around branches to swing across pits. Or... using a gun to shoot some guy instead? Normally Jace has a gun but instead he'll just have to shoot things the old fashioned way.

With spells!

Aaanyway off to the next room.

The chamber Jace walks into is about twenty five feet squared, with another clearly locked door to the north (hard to mistake those chains for anything else) and a second door to the east that looks to be made of brass rather than wood. Its surface depicts three men trying to free themselves from a triple-decker guillotine. Fun!

The room is decorated with a collection of small plinths, each with an oil lamp sitting atop it. One lamp is made of gold and set with emeralds. Another silver and set with blue sapphires. A third is made of copper and set with opals. The final lamp is of unadorned bronze make. In the middle of the plinths is a table of marble with the inscription 'choose your slave wisely' carved into it.

[Keeper]

Yeah, BARDS can do all those things.
Do you think whip proficiency grows on trees? Sorcerers just get simple weapons. Like daggers, spears, and .22 revolvers.

Well, Jace would prefer not to choose any slaves, so hopefully this is symbolic. Jace takes the bronze one, of course. Gold isn't going to handle being heated nearly as well as other metals. Silver teapots are a thing and so are copper kettles, so the rest are probably safe.
But everyone knows you pick the least fancy one in situations like this. Even if the murderhobo in the back of Jace's brain (this is also where Zebes' bond is) does very much like the copper one. Still, he brings the bronze lamp over to the table and gives it a proper examination.

[Rebonack]

You know Jace, you could at least give it a try.

How do you know Fortuna didn't give you a magic whip that gives the proficiency Feat to whoever wields it?

Regardless! Jace picks the plain bronze lamp because everyone has read The Merchant of Venice or has at least encountered puzzles that are BASED on it. So! Time to examine. The lamp is, as mentioned, made of bronze and unadorned. It has no symbols on it to speak of. Just a regular old lamp. Checking inside, Jace will discover that it's empty of oil. There is, however, a small collection of wicks in there. So Jace could light the lamp if he were to find a supply of oil somewhere.

Like, say, in those statues in the previous room that have fires burning in their outstretched hand basins.

Rubbing the lamp, as it happens, will polish it slightly and do nothing else.

[Keeper]

Well, it seems like there's not much to do about this one. Jace gives a quick look around the room for some fuel. Failing to find any, he goes to the previous room to see if he can maybe siphon some from the flames around.
He does also quickly take a look at the other lamps, just to make sure they aren't adorned with any obvious runes or magic auras.

[Rebonack]

There's no fuel to be found in this room!

Though Jace WILL find something interesting when he checks the statues in the other room. They all have a little compartment built into them designed for holding a large bottle of olive oil that's siphoned up into the basin in their hands. Fancy!

Jace could totally steal some of that to fill up his lamp and light it if that's his desire.

Checking the other lamps, Jace will not find any obvious magical auras attached to any of them. Which might seem kind of strange? If these are supposed to be magic lamps with djinn in them then wouldn't have have an aura of conjuration or something?

But they don't!

They're just three fancy (and one non-fancy) lamps!

[Keeper]

The lamps are probably symbolic. Besides, Jace doesn't want to deal with an actual djinni. They're tricksy (just like Fortuna) and are just as likely to curse him horribly as help.
He also isn't comfortable with interacting with sapient beings that may or may not have been created whole-cloth by Fortuna. Can she do that?

Jace will take the fuel reservoir and light the lamp as he returns to the second room. There doesn't seem to be much else to do, so hopefully lighting the lamp is the correct answer.

[Rebonack]

As Jace is fiddling with the oil jars he may also notice that the hand basin on the statue has the 4 symbol on it.

Hmm!

That might be significant.

So!

Interesting question. CAN Fortuna create sapient beings out of whole cloth? It's possible she didn't create this place at all. She might have just been aware of it. Or maybe she knew it existed somewhere and she just pulled some strings to get it yanked into the Nexus where it would be useful. It isn't likely that Fortuna would answer that question if asked directly. That just isn't how she rolls.

Anyway.

Lamp lit.

As soon as it is lit smoke does not come pouring out of the lamp and form into a djinn. Because djinn are made of smokeless fire. No, fire comes pouring out of the lamp and forms into a tiny impish looking creature with rooster-like wings and feet. Definitely weird. It scowls at Jace as soon as it has a face to scowl with. "What do you want?"

[Keeper]

Jace looks around the room and checks the other statues for numbers.

"I'm trying to get past the brass door in the next room. The lamps were the only thing in the room so I figured I needed you for that. Am I close?" Jace asks the creature.

[Rebonack]

Turns out each of the statues has one of the three symbols: 4, 7, and 9. But the fourth statue doesn't have any of those. It's a completely different symbol using a completely different style. Instead of the little wedges and arcs it's a rune that looks kind of like a letter B. Except all angular since is hasn't got any curves in it, only straight lines, just like all runes.

Maybe that statue provides bluetooth capability to the dungeon?

The tiny djinn, meanwhile, sighs and rolls his eyes dramatically.

"And why did you want to summon ME for your pointless task? Couldn't you have bothered someone else?" he complains. He glares at Jace a few seconds longer in abject irritation before groaning. "Fine. FIIIINE. You have summoned me, the djinn of bronze and clockwork. What is your wish?"

[Keeper]

"Well there's three other lamps, do you think they would have handled it better? I'm just trying to get past these locked doors. The one without the visible lock, for now. If there's clockwork in its mechanism, maybe you could help me with that?"
Everyone knows you ask djinni for small things at most. The more you ask the worse they're going to be to you.

[Rebonack]

"Of COURSE they couldn't they're all idiots," the djinn retorts. "I'm the only competent one of the bunch!"

He's just mad that he's being irritated.

That's all.

"Doors? Of course I can help you with doors! What kind of useless loafer do you take me for? But there's no way I would CHOOSE to help someone like you! Disgusting mud-people the lot of you! I won't help you and there's nothing you can do to make me!"

But didn't he just ask Jace a few seconds earlier if he had a wish?

[Keeper]

Jace idly takes out his phone to check if Fortuna would actually put a bluetooth access point in this otherwise low-tech dungeon.
"Very well, if you want me to be formal about it. My wish is that you help me progress to the bottom level of this place so I can claim the poking-stick."
And if the djinni doesn't take commands of such nature, he can extinguish the flame and try someone else. He does have three other candidates.

[Rebonack]

BING!

The phone connects to the statue! The space above the hands flickers a few times until a blue projection akin to what Star War's droids are able to vomit out pops into view. It's a projection of a weird skull with a bluetooth symbol on it because why not? Jace could probably set the rest of the skulls in place and find out what happens.

"Fine, I will," the djinn replies, crossing his little arms with a huff.

...and then proceeds to do exactly nothing.

It's going to be one of THOSE sorts of genies, isn't it?

The kind where your wording will be interpreted in the most annoying way possible. In this case, Jace didn't provide any sort of time frame on his Wish, just that it would be done.

What a terrible little creature.

[Keeper]

Jace goes about setting the skulls in place, not particularly bothered with the djinni's impish expectations. He'll take doing nothing over it trying to curse him with his requests. Which is why he didn't wish for the ability to open the doors himself.

"So, what's up with the other three djinn you were with? They're that bad, huh? I did think their lamps were a bit on the gaudy side." he asks, trying to strike up conversation to see if he can get on its good side by letting it vent.

[Rebonack]

When the last marked skull is placed in the correct basin there comes a smooth clanking sound from the pedestal in the middle of the room as it rises a good three feet into the air, revealing an enclosed cabinet under it!

Obviously a place to hide treasure, right?

Should Jace open it up he'll discover a collection of mysterious objects!
A flute made of polished black obsidian.
A round glass bottle filled with syrupy blue fluid.
A scroll case made of scaly red leather and decorated with a dragon motif.
A brass music box featuring a mechanical songbird on the top.

Neat!

Everyone likes treasures.

"They're a ponce, a fool, and an arrogant blowhard, respectively," the djinn replies. Sounds like he isn't a huge fan.

[Keeper]

Jace opens his magic-sight and tries to identify any magic on the items. Potions aren't his forte (heh) when it comes to identification but he can maybe smell it and see what it is. The scroll case and flute might just be normal items made of expensive materials.
"It sounds like you probably had to do all the work, huh?" he replies to the djinn.