Trog's Tavern: Roman Numerals Are Dumb

[Beans]

Konstanze nods with a wince. "Yes, I think I do---I'm about to head out, myself, but perhaps I'll see you around once more." She smiles as she puts her money on the counter, counting out a sensible tip. "And hopefully you don't have to deal with this someone of yours." She scoots off the barstool.

[Recaiden]

"Oh, yeah, goodbye miss ghost." The bug-thingy looks back and waves with a pair of hands.
This kind of proves Selekhael right. Dying may not be so bad.

[Beans]

Konstanze waves, as does her shadow, and she ollies out.

Not too long later, quite the pair walks in---a very tall young lady with a Glasgow grin and a pink-haired catgirl with glasses. Despite the former being nearly 7 feet tall, they don't appear to be old enough for boozin'. They order soft drinks and settle in at the bartop.

[Ironsmith]

"I've met him three times. When he comes for you, you can challenge him to a game. I choose arm wrestling, and win. And pulled his finger off the third time, but that wasn't deliberate. I've not seen him in... oh, years, now. Probably scared him off for good the last time." Mrs. Bloodplunder shrugs and grins, not too worried about the fact she's apparently intimidated Death into immortality.

So, yes but also no. So much for that idea.

"...I cannot imagine Death would be much good at arm wrestling." Aikobaz muses, smirking at the mental image. "He does not have the physique for it."

...Come to think of it, this old lady probably didn't, either. Even if she's healthy for her age, she's still... well, old. The empress barely holds back an amused grin at the mental image of the two of them going at it, momentarily forgetting her present circumstances.

...Right. Back to the issue at hand.

"...This may be... a very unlikely event, but... have you ever had a wisb granted, Missus Bloodplunder?"

[Earl of Purple]

"Don't judge a wine by the skin. Death don't have muscle, so he works different. There's a reason most people lose when they challenge Death." Mrs. Bloodplunder doesn't look like much, but that baggy pink cardigan hides a lot.

"Yes. I wished to marry the strongest man alive, and I did. Then I wrestled him to the ground, took all his clothes off and made my eldest. He wanted to wait for the end of the ceremony, I wasn't so good at patience back then." She sighs wistfully, remembering her husband. It wasn't a magical wish, however. "Together, we conquered...oh, about a quarter of the world. Doesn't sound like much to you, probably, but... we started with ten thousand raiders, four shamans and a one-armed assassin. It was hard work. I'd have kept going, but my husband... He didn't want that. He wanted our place secure, not to wage war against the world. He was smarter'n I was." She's a bit sad at that; there's probably a story about what happened to her kingdom.

[Ironsmith]

Aikobaz listens to the story first with mild interest, then a brief flare of surprise, followed by barely-concealed disgust. Logically, she knows that Mrs. Bloodplunder was not the wrinkled old woman in front of her now at the time, but the image that involuntarily brings to her mind is somewhat less-than-pleasant.

"...Back in my homeland, there is an award of great honor, the Empress's Personal Favor, which is bestowed on those of outstanding quality." She begins, her cheeks still glowing a light orange. "Even our most celebrated inventors, scholars, and soldiers would struggle to earn such a thing. Most will live many lifetimes under many different empresses and never have a chance at it. And I would bestow it upon you if you never shared the story of your wedding night again."

The emerald-skinned empress sighs and shakes her head, pushing her empty plate forward where the servers can easily get to it. "...That aside... was there any particular place where you made that wish? Formally? Catching sight of a falling star, perhaps, or at a mystic spring somewhere?" Just because the end result was relatively mundane doesn't mean no magic was involved. Maybe someone else would write this incident off as a matter of superstition, but Aikobaz knows better. Worst case scenario, it really does dead-end. Best case? She's back here running this town inside a week.

[Earl of Purple]

"Hah! Me grandkids can't get me to stop tellin' that story, and they've been tryin' for years! 'Sides, that's not the fun part." Mrs. Bloodplunder's grin is bright and full of promise, though she doesn't go further. "Don't wish on stars. They're bright, but cold, and distant. If they grant you a wish, it'll end badly for all involved. All the springs were mystic, in those days. 'Specially the ones big enough to supply a tribe all year. Too mystic to be sullied by whimsical wishes like husbands and wives. All the wishes made at springs were bought with blood, wishing for an end to drought." A hard land, where Mrs. Bloodplunder grew up. She had it harder in her day, and she's pleased none of her grandchildren have it so hard. "I wished in me heart, and in me head, and once when I was twelve I wished it afore my older brother. He laughed, said it were wrong for me to wish to marry him, so I broke his spear and his arm and took his goats. He was a bit more humble after that."

[Ironsmith]

"...He was still right, though." Aikobaz replies coolly, taking a sip from her drink. In amidst this old woman's blathering, she's still gleaning some useful information. The stars here are cruel beings, and asking them for favor is a bad idea. Magic itself is ubiquitous and helpful, but not likely well-understood, and extracting a terrible price regardless. And the people... well, if Mrs. Bloodplunder is typical of the folk around here, she can expect them to be rough, but not necessarily hostile. Small blessing, she supposes.

"...What do your people do for luck?" Aikobaz tries again, going down a different track, if one very similar to the one she just left. If Mrs. Bloodplunder could survive such conditions, fortune would have to have favored her. And it wouldn't be the first time an Aikobaz found a source of magic in and amongst seemingly inconsequential good-luck rituals.

[Earl of Purple]

"No, he weren't. He was wrong, He weren't the strongest man in the world, and I knew it. Only he didn't." She did not, in case Aikobaz was wondering, marry her brother.

"The night before a battle, we left traps baited with honey and kumis overnight, collected the drunk fairies before dawn, and tied them to the saddles of our mounts. If we survived the day, we let the fairies go. My husband never went anywhere without a small pouch he never opened, he said that gave him luck. I never opened it, either. Didn't feel right, somehow." Not sure how practical either of those would be to Aikobaz, and Mrs. Bloodplunder doesn't reveal how often it worked.

[Ironsmith]

Aikobaz opens her mouth to point out that Mrs. Bloodplunder is not, in fact, a man, and that beating up her brother would only serve to prove that there was at least one woman stronger than him, and say nothing on the subject of stronger men... before deciding that would be pointlessly pedantic. Besides, he was bested by a twelve-year-old child. Aikobaz would hope stronger men than that existed in her clan.

"...Fairies, you say." The empress muses, running a finger over her chin. Of course. They were a source of magic in her world, too. It certainly wouldn't be a bad place to begin her investigation. "Could you show me how to build one of these traps?"

[Earl of Purple]

Mrs. Bloodplunder is no longer twelve. She is, however, still strong enough to rip Death's fingers off during an arm-wrestling match. And since she married 'the strongest man in the world' and was still able to wrestle him to the ground and rip off all his clothes on their wedding night, I don't think she was counting women in that- or at least, she wasn't counting herself.

"Oh, they're fiddly. I've not made one in... ah, thirty years. Do you have any string, some twigs or small bones and a stone with a hole in it? I'll also need some honey and kumis. And I can't guarantee it'd work- the fairies here ain't like the ones when I was a girl in the Whispering Sea." Probably less drought resistant at least.

[Ironsmith]

"I do not have them on my person, but obtaining those materials should be trivial. I have a seeing stone in my foot locker." Aikobaz replies, steepling her fingers as she runs through the list of materials. "I do not have any honey in my 'room', and while I normally would have kumis at my disposal for various rituals, I do not keep it where I sleep. Both will have to be sourced from local providers." She sits up abruptly, suddenly remembering that she's left her trunk outside unguarded and anyone could steal from it at any moment. Muttering impotent curses under her breath, she runs to the bar door, seeing herself out to her belongings.

[Earl of Purple]

"Honey an' kumis should be easy to get, we're in a pub." Mrs. Bloodplunder gestures to the bar, where Zee is potentially already collecting honey and kumis. Or perhaps not, since if she's listening to the conversation she might disagree with the plan of tying drunk fairies to a saddle in order to survive a battle.

Outside, Aikobaz might bump into a quartet of bulky individuals. One is mostly human, very tall and built like a strongman, with tanned skin that looks a little fake tan-y, since it's tinged orange; he also has a single tusk on the left side of his mouth. He's nearly twenty, and he's wearing a pair of shorts with large pockets and a sleeveless black t-shirt. Next to him is another man, looking a few years older and not as tanned, but similar enough to the first that he looks to be closely related, wearing jeans and a green hoody with a toolbelt around his waist. Behind them is a middle-aged half-orc with dark orange skin, no tusks and a crown of canine teeth tattooed around his shaved head and wearing unmarked brown leather motorcycle gear. The final individual is a woman, with a short black mohawk, pale skin, a pair of tusks and a bodybuilder's almost exaggerated muscles, wearing a blue denim skirt and matching jacket. She's leaning on a bearded axe. They don't seem to have touched anything, but they are looking over the furniture curiously.

[Purple Countess]

Natalie grins and waves when Karasu enters, and stands up to kiss her girlfriend's cheek before they sit down. "Careful, it's sweet cider from Applekick farms. It's made from apples, it's sweet, and it's definitely got a kick. All in all, well named, and quite nice." Natalie smiles.

"Good point, will be easy to lose track and end up having too much." Karasu grins back, and turns to Zee. "Less sweet for me, then. Just in case I end up driving." She adds, flashing the keys to her big sibling's bike and grinning even wider at Natalie.

Another perk of being 18!

[Earl of Purple]

"I was going to Riftline home, just in case." Natalie smiles, but reaches out to hug her girlfriend. She's not drunk in a pub before, but she's tried alcohol- which is how she knows she likes cider- and is aware of the risks of using the same travel method home as she used to get here. She might be able to be convinced to go on the bike regardless, though.

[Rebonack]

Zee arrives with the drinks in short order in nice little colorful mugs that came along with the cask of cider.

"You two have a fun time, okay? I'll keep an eye on you so don't you worry. And I would definitely suggest taking Riftline home after a fun evening at Trog's. Wouldn't want something tragic to happen after all. We can keep your bike in the stable for you if you want."

What?

You thought the stable was just for horses and other less typical animal mounts?

Nah, it's a garage in general. This IS a mixed genre city after all.

[Ironsmith]

"Honey an' kumis should be easy to get, we're in a pub." Mrs. Bloodplunder gestures to the bar, where Zee is potentially already collecting honey and kumis. Or perhaps not, since if she's listening to the conversation she might disagree with the plan of tying drunk fairies to a saddle in order to survive a battle.

Outside, Aikobaz might bump into a quartet of bulky individuals. One is mostly human, very tall and built like a strongman, with tanned skin that looks a little fake tan-y, since it's tinged orange; he also has a single tusk on the left side of his mouth. He's nearly twenty, and he's wearing a pair of shorts with large pockets and a sleeveless black t-shirt. Next to him is another man, looking a few years older and not as tanned, but similar enough to the first that he looks to be closely related, wearing jeans and a green hoody with a toolbelt around his waist. Behind them is a middle-aged half-orc with dark orange skin, no tusks and a crown of canine teeth tattooed around his shaved head and wearing unmarked brown leather motorcycle gear. The final individual is a woman, with a short black mohawk, pale skin, a pair of tusks and a bodybuilder's almost exaggerated muscles, wearing a blue denim skirt and matching jacket. She's leaning on a bearded axe. They don't seem to have touched anything, but they are looking over the furniture curiously.

Aikobaz stops in her tracks when she sees the quartet of ruffians hanging around what used to be her bedroom, visibly paling at the sight of them. They're all quite intimidating, in their own way, but also... invoking a different primal response.

...

Gah!

She needs to focus. This isn't a great time to just stand around and gawk.

"Are you Mrs. Bloodplunder's children?" She asks simply, taking a seat on the trunk at the foot of her bed. If nothing else, she can make sure they're not getting in there.

[Earl of Purple]

"I am. Me name's Ugthurz. These are my sons, Yamarz and Grugthar, and my niece, Hope." The middle-aged half-orc speaks first, the older quarter orc waving first when they're introduced. "Mama asked for Yamarz, Grugthar and Hope, but Grug was with me learnin' life skills. You this empress she told Yam about?" He looks Aikobaz up and down at that, not seeming very impressed by what he's looking at.

Fortunately, Mrs. Bloodplunder's on her way, her handbag over her shoulder.

[Ironsmith]

It doesn't take Aikobaz very long to note the irreverence in the older half-orc's voice and demeanor, and she visibly tenses at such clear and brazen disrespect. "This empress", he says. Like he passed twenty women just like her on the way up here. If she could, she'd teach him a lesson best learned as a toad for that.

But for now... dignity.

"I am Empress Aikobaz the Third, yes." She replies with a stiff little nod. "You are standing in what used to be the royal bedchambers. I would have you put it back within four walls, if it wouldn't trouble you terribly." There's a sardonic lilt to her words there, her tone making it quite clear to Ugthurz that she doesn't think particularly highly of him, either, and the attempt at politeness was, in fact, a matter of some contempt.

[Earl of Purple]

"My four walls, specifically. She's gonna be me lodger for a bit. Till she's got her empire back, at least." Ugthurz swallows what he was about to say and nods respectfully to his mum.
"Yes, mum. Right, you lot. You heard your gran, get this stuff up an' carried to ours." Ugthurz will direct his sons into picking up Aikobaz' bed, which they struggle with, it being a massive four-poster made from exotic hardwood. He'll pick up something else, whilst Mrs. Bloodplunder takes advantage of the fact the bed is no longer behind it to get behind the chest and grab it by either side and grunt as she picks it up. She doesn't ask Aikobaz to move, but doesn't seem to be struggling under the weight, either. Hope moves the mirror off the rug, wraps the mirror in the rug, and swings it over her shoulder with her bearded ax, and Ugthurz grunts as he lifts the wardrobe. They'll have to come back for the other wardrobe, the commode, and anything else left behind, but for now it's probably to Home.

[Ironsmith]

"Yes, let's- oo-ohp!"

Aikobaz turns a light shade of orange as Mrs. Bloodplunder lifts her, chest and all, off the ground and starts carrying her away. That's... not quite the treatment she'd been expecting, but at least granny seemed to understand the basic etiquette that the Empress should be carried to her home. It's just too bad she didn't get one of those strapping young men to do it instead.

Oh, well. At least she gets to enjoy the ride.

[Gold]

► SHOW SPOILER

TASBot and Changer are still talking about some inane stuff.

"Hey TASBot, you remember that bet we made about your TrackMania time?"

"Oh, yeah! You said if nobody beat my time within the month, I'd have to say one thing you tell me to in a public place!"

"Mhm. And the same's about to go for you too, buddy."

".......what?"

"Open up the leaderboard for your track please." "Okay, but I don't see how anybody could have beat my- oh. Oh no." "Oh. Yes." "No! But-I-it was... man, that just doesn't compute." "Oh, don't be so dramatic. Anyways..."

Changer reaches over the table and whispers in TASBot's ear.

"I'm not saying that." "Yes you are." "Am not!" "Are too!" "We're starting to sound like children!" "Are too-I mean, yes, we are, now just say it already!"

"Itusbtdntcrefrfxsrtlwmn."

"Louder. If nobody can heae you, that defeats the point of saying it in a public place." "Fine, fine..."

TASBot stands up straight and starts speaking clearly out loud. Everyone in the tavern should be able to hear this statement

"I've come to make an announcement: I, TASBot, do not care for foxes or tall women."

TASBot sinks back down in his seat, quite clearly embarassed. Changer has a smug smile.

"Uuuurgh Changer I'm getting looks! Why would you make me say something like that?"

"I thought it would be funny to make you seem like a contrarian by having you diss things everyone loves."

"Yeah? I think maybe you don't like either of those things, and you made me say it because it's sonething you've always wanted to say but were afraid you'd be judged for."

"...well, shoot. I'm impressed, how'd you figure that one out so fast?"

"Wait, I did? I mean... because you just told me, doc-boy!"

"Damn, I always wanted to be the one to deliver that line. Also, don't call me doc-boy again or I'll start healing you in reverse."

"Fine, then I'll do it when you're busy."

"What? D'oh... Well, I still beat your track time."

"Guess we both won today, then."

"From where I'm floating, we both lost." Changer mutters as he returns to sipping his cream soda. TASBot appears to be playing a game about slingshotting birds at green pigs on his screen.

[Purple Countess]

"I was going to Riftline home, just in case." Natalie smiles, but reaches out to hug her girlfriend. She's not drunk in a pub before, but she's tried alcohol- which is how she knows she likes cider- and is aware of the risks of using the same travel method home as she used to get here. She might be able to be convinced to go on the bike regardless, though.

"No need, I'll take us. Made some prep to ensure I wouldn't need to rely on autodrive." By injecting herself with some nanites designed to get rid of excess alcohol for the night.

Zee arrives with the drinks in short order in nice little colorful mugs that came along with the cask of cider.

"You two have a fun time, okay? I'll keep an eye on you so don't you worry. And I would definitely suggest taking Riftline home after a fun evening at Trog's. Wouldn't want something tragic to happen after all. We can keep your bike in the stable for you if you want."

What?

You thought the stable was just for horses and other less typical animal mounts?

Nah, it's a garage in general. This IS a mixed genre city after all.

The colourful mugs arrive just as the hug between the couple ends, and Karasu's already about to drink from her chosen cup before her brain remembers to be polite. "Thanks. Will see how the night goes." Though she trusts Trog's enough to keep their bike in the stable, even if she'd prefer it not come to that.

"So, babe. Guess who's now a ninja nurse?" Karasu asks as she sips her cider, looking the way one looks when sharing exciting news.

[Earl of Purple]

"Hmm... Let's see. Who's a ninja nurse... Is it Cheasadh? She always seemed the sneaky type." Natalie grins, aware that Karasu means herself but willing to wind her up a little. "That's great, though! You healed anyone without them noticing yet?" A ninja and a nurse, not necessarily a ninja who nurses.

Natalie's going to raise her glass to clink it against Karasu's before taking another mouthful.

[Zefir]

► SHOW SPOILER

TASBot sinks back down in his seat, quite clearly embarassed. Changer has a smug smile.

"Uuuurgh Changer I'm getting looks! Why would you make me say something like that?"

"I thought it would be funny to make you seem like a contrarian by having you diss things everyone loves."

"Yeah? I think maybe you don't like either of those things, and you made me say it because it's sonething you've always wanted to say but were afraid you'd be judged for."

"...well, shoot. I'm impressed, how'd you figure that one out so fast?"

"Wait, I did? I mean... because you just told me, doc-boy!"

"Damn, I always wanted to be the one to deliver that line. Also, don't call me doc-boy again or I'll start healing you in reverse."

"Fine, then I'll do it when you're busy."

"What? D'oh... Well, I still beat your track time."

"Guess we both won today, then."

"From where I'm floating, we both lost." Changer mutters as he returns to sipping his cream soda. TASBot appears to be playing a game about slingshotting birds at green pigs on his screen.

The man at the bar who replied doesn t seem to bother more right now and turns back to his drink

[Purple Countess]

"Hmm... Let's see. Who's a ninja nurse... Is it Cheasadh? She always seemed the sneaky type." Natalie grins, aware that Karasu means herself but willing to wind her up a little. "That's great, though! You healed anyone without them noticing yet?" A ninja and a nurse, not necessarily a ninja who nurses.

Natalie's going to raise her glass to clink it against Karasu's before taking another mouthful.

Karasu pokes Natalie's nose in response. "Stooop!" She says, trying to sound annoyed until it's ruined by her breaking into a giggling fit.

"Thanks, babe." She clinks her glass against Natalie's with a contented grin, then takes another mouthful herself. "Oh, I wish. That'd be cool! Imagine a mission where I have to sneak into a place filled with sick people, and cure them without them seeing me. You could serve as my equipment refill station."

"Which reminds me, when are we going on our first adventure?" It comes from nowhere, since they haven't spoken about it yet, but Karasu's been fantasizing about how that could go.

[Gold]

A mysterious figure in a wheelchair wheels himself into Trog's Tavern. He's wearing a green jumpsuit with a hood that hides his face. He doesn't wear any shoes, but given the fact that his hands and feet appear distinctly robotic, he might not need to. His wheelchair has a longsword in a sheath attached to it, in the spot where crutches might be.

After a short while, he looks around and says, in a voice that can only be described as 'robo-Americano': "I need an adventurer. A monster needs deactivating, and I've been made aware I might be able to find ones here who can do that."

[Earl of Purple]

"Oh, no I don't think I could. I'm nowhere near sneaky enough to manage that. Even if I was, my magic tends to glow. That usually alerts people that something is going on, even if they don't know what." Natalie's somewhat sneaky, but her sneakiest is when she turns into a bird, otter or chameleon and can use their natural abilities to go places people aren't expected.

Natalie's a little blindsided by the next question; it's something they've often discussed, but never actually planned beyond that. "I... don't know. When we find somewhere to explore, I guess. Um, not that one, I don't think. He wants adventurers, but to fight something. I... don't think that'd be a good first try for me." Natalie nods towards the wheelchair man, whose task seems... potentially more involved than suitable for Natalie.

[Purple Countess]

"Thought of that already, but it's still fun to think about." Karasu replies, blowing her girlfriend a kiss before taking a little sip. "You could be outside and teleport things to a room I place a beacon in... hmm." She's never asked Natalie about that, come to think of it.

She glances at the robotic mysterious figure and her curiosity is piqued, but she just wants a quiet night out as she and her girlfriend have their first drink together in Trog's. "I can fight, but I prefer to be medicking anyway. It's a word now." She's declared it so. "Maybe we can go hunting for treasures someday? And hope we don't see combat."

[Looking For Hunter]

One of the patrons takes notice of what was just said, rising to go join the mysterious figure. It's a hooded red-skinned man dressed in all-black custom leather armour, two tendrils hanging down from both cheekbones and swaying as he moves. A pair of yellow eyes examines the man for a short moment, then nods once. "Go on."

[Earl of Purple]

"Beacon won't help. I teleport stuff to me, or from me. And the stuff I teleport either comes from or goes somewhere I've prepped in advance or can see." If Karasu's ever looked into Natalie's drawers, they're pretty well organised and there's one with a lot of symbols drawn on the bottom, with jumpers placed carefully in the middle. "Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. I'll have an ask around, see if anyone knows anywhere that might be suitable. Y'know, not now but when I'm at college and stuff."